Dreams, Darkness, Small Computers and ongoing projects

It's been a strange time of late. I've found myself dreaming of another future. One that doesn't include my current family unit. Can I really remove myself from all this without huge pain and suffering for all. And all in the name of my happiness? Who knows! What I do know is how shocked so many people would be if I split from my wife. Her family, my family, her friends, my friends, our friends. But when all is said and done, I've just not been getting enough satisfaction from my life recently. And I am not sure if recently means months or years. What glimpses I have had of a potentially better future just seem elusive and intangible. So much to undo. Maybe I am not capable of having one of those lives... Poppycock! Yep, I am right proper confused. And just to complicate things further, my work has started to piss me off a bit too. Though I do have a new possibility of further employment on the horizon. Fingers crossed.

On a lighter note I have recently become obsessed with finding a elusive Asus Eeepc to use as my secondary laptop. Yes, I really do need one. It's 200 quid and runs Skype for goodness sake! And when you're away as much as me and always lugging a laptop around, this little gem seems like the perfect antidote. Well, I have one on order, a little above the original RRP, but what the heck. Maybe this will bring me some happiness if other things can't.

I am continuing my Star Wars project, along with my Blade Runner split screen analysis. Albeit very slowly. But to be honest I find it hard to get motivated with these non profit making ventures. Maybe once they are complete I will be able to get on with the Raiders project. Something that would give me the at least some pleasure. And in the same year that Indy 4 is being released. There's something quite satisfying about that idea. Life is a roller coaster after all.

2nd Baby Due

Recognise that bump? Yep, we are expecting our second baby... yesterday to be precise. We were both under the impression that second babies come quicker.  Well our first came on her due date so already we know the old wives tale isn't always true.  

Preparations have been made. The spare room decorated (a while ago actually) in a neutral yellow.  Though the fact is that the 20 week scan pretty much revealed that we are expecting another girl.  At two and a half our first is very excited about the whole thing.  Particularly because she's been told (by her mum) that the baby will bring her a couple of presents when she arrives.  Our attempt to soften the blow.  Though how long a purple Barbie and a pushchair will last in the midst of all that screaming, I don't know.

Life has become rather complicated of late.  My feelings for my wife aren't what they used to be and I am going through a bit of a crisis where that's all concerned. I'm just not sure that this is all I want from life anymore. To add to the stress, we were told yesterday that we have to move out of our rented house.  But every cloud has a silver lining.  We may return down south to be nearer family (read babysitters) to make things a bit easier.

Ciao for now.